HEAR ME, fEEl ME

Decision making
Not necessarily my strong suit
Always saying I want this,
But really I want that
So indecisive, unsure, lost
Scared, only wishing to hide away

Then I fall deep into your stare
Your stare of certainty, comfort
You tell me to not be scared,
You never tell me if you are scared
You keep that from me, only to protect me

What would I do without you?
You save me from myself
You keep me going
Feeding my hope and stabilizing emotions
You do both jobs of inhibiting and exciting
Your touch;
Calming yet arousing

You say that maybe I’m too good for you
What you fail to see is
I am so emotionally damaged
I couldn’t possibly be too good
I’m always in constant pain
An ache that will forever stay with me

When I’m with you,
It goes away
Perishes from complete existence

Unbelievable
How much power you have
Over my heart,
So please hear me, feel me
Love me
Like I do you. 

DEVOtiON

Love is unsurely unconditional. I still have yet to prove myself to thee and you to me.
I have fallen into a blissful enchantment;
Bittersweet it is.
The nature of this love is so;
ENIGMATIC.
You are the fire and I am just dancing in the flames
I am the rain whom seeks to tame down the inferno and fail nevertheless.
What I feel is irresistible, I cannot help it.
Your touch; enticing to a full extent
Holds off all constraints…
I see the perplexity – mystery in those eyes.
They are shouting something;
I always wonder what that might be…
Do you feel the passion that I feel when you stare into my eyes, or what is it that you see?
Love is subtle, deep, and impetuous.
Love is Devotion.

SONNEt 23*

I look into your eyes and see your soul

Pure and full of life, yet you are serious

With an expressionless stare that has a

Thousand unknown words. Mesmerized by your

Mocha-colored skin; so smooth and gentle

Those deep brown eyes that say what words cannot.

The miles in between make me cherish thee.

I can’t help but think as the days go by

The time that I get to see the sunrise

With you by my side holding me closely.

It is not only the outside that matters

Character and values are admired.

I am one of the few to believe your

Heart is big, that’s why I love you Darling.

[VERitAS]

Veritas nunquam perit

The truth never dies

No matter how hard we try

To live our lives full of lies

The truth will always be there

Looming in the shadows, waiting to come out

Don’t be scared fear only makes you weak;

Vulnerable

In order to live a life full of light, you need to understand Darkness

Embrace it. Learn from it.

Veritas vos liberabit

The truth will set you free

Once you accept it, you’ll start living

Remember that everyone dies but not everybody lives

You’ll open your eyes and see reality

You’ll see we live in a kill or be killed world

A world where people only use you to get what they want

If you refuse to open your eyes

You’ll end up being an unimportant pawn in the game of life

The only thing left to do is use the m the way they use you

Survival of the Fittest

It’s the one with the fittest mind who ends up winning

Seeing this truth will put you one step ahead of the game

Let go of the unnecessary lies and pathetic emotions

They will only slow you down.

COMPliCAtED

Certain people are like open books

Plainly easy to read

But you are different

More like a book with a lock

Which you hold the key tightly

 In a closed fist

“People only hurt you”

Seeming cold and heartless

You refuse to let people in

This mirage you put up, a protective shield

Only so others will fear you.

Deep inside you are benevolent and caring

Fearlessness is impossible

It’s what makes us human,

Your intriguingly complicated nature caught my attention

Everything about you draws me in to dig deeper

Your mysteriousness triggers my curiosity

I have faith that one day you will open your fist

And hand me the key you so truly treasure.

BElONGiNG

I love you more than life itself

But I am scared to love

My heart is like the fragile wings of a dove

I’m scared to get too close

I feel like you will love me for a little while and set me free again

I live on hopes and dreams

I don’t know what to do

I doubt I can trust my heart, for it belongs to you.

I know that somewhere in your heart there is a place for me

I just don’t know how to find it

I could only hope that someday you will wake up

And find that while my heart belongs to yours,

Yours, too, belongs to mine.

{{DREAM BOi}}

Lately I've been thinking about you
Its making me go crazy 
Because I know I can't have you 
You visit my dreams 
and its eternal bliss
I never want to wake up  
So I take many naps 
I know what I dream is fiction 
A fairy tale I believe in 
But it makes me happy 
Even if it's only for a few hours.
In my dreams you're my ecstasy 
I see you smile all the time 
In reality I don't see it as often.
In my dreams you're mine 
and I'm yours
But really, you're hers 
It's funny you see 
I always lose one way or another
and you always seem to win
How would you react if you knew? 
If you knew what I was feeling? 
WhatProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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0would you say? 
You probably wouldn't care
That's just who you are. 
I truly prefer the boy in my dreams 
from the boy I see nowadays 
But maybe you are that way 
You just keep him away....

{AVOiDED}

Your avoidance kills me 

It's like a disease

eating me away 

slowly but surely 

it'll eat me all the way 

You won't look me in the eye 

cowardness doesn't suit you

It makes me mad

but at the same time a little sad 

What did I do to make you act this way? 

Or did I do anything at all? 

You give me mixed signals 

you push me away 

then you pull me in closer 

could it be a figment of my imagination? 

or be the cruel reality? 

I try to stay away 

but there's failure every time

Something about you draws me towards you

you're the magnet, I'm the metal 

we weren't like this before 

we're complete opposites 

That's what made our friendship work

something came between us

And now you turned into a different person 

a stranger, i don't even know. 

[[fAllEN ANGEl]]

Born with wings 

wings to soar high in the sky 

A beautiful angel some would say 

As time passed by 

the angel's true colors appeared

Still a beautiful angel 

but with darkened wings 

BLACK like those of a raven's 

On the inside she feels trapped, lonely, sad

Yet on the outside she seems glad

and always smiling

You'd think she's oblivious 

to the problems that surround her 

In reality she feels restless, frustrated 

The only option she has left 

is to laugh to keep herself from crying 

She tries to take flight on broken wings 

Difficult; yes 

Impossible; not an option 

Her wings are a mirror of her life 

BLACK, like a starless night 

How can something so BEAUTIFUL be so UGLY? 

She lives in her past and its hard for her to move on

She's become nothing 

On the inside she's dead

Who will bring her to life? 

She's been living a lie

There's nothing inside 

WAKE ME UP! 

Call my name and save me from the dark

I'm frozen inside 

seems like I've been sleeping for so many years

I have to open my eyes to see everything 

So PLEASE, will someone save me? 

"tRUE" lOVE

Being in your arms 
felt like I was safe 
from everything around me 
Looking into your eyes 
made me feel like I was 
the only girl you ever loved 
you made me feel special 
loving you for 7 years 
and still feel that spark 
of fireworks when you 
called my name 
you were always there
when I had no one to talk to 
You were there to help me 
get through my problems you weren't afraid to hold me 
to baby me 
When we fought you always apologized 
even when it was my fault 
you seemed like the Perfect guy
For a long time I thought you were 
THE ONE 
the one I would like to spend 
the rest of my life with 
But every good thing has an expiration date 
I opened my eyes
and was struck with the truth 
The guy I thought you were 
was just a mirage 
A fake, a lie 
And just like that 
my fairy tale life was over. 

WiNtERSWEEt VAllEY

Wintersweet; my special place
My world between the world 
I'm its creator and Its only destroyer 
There's mountains in the distance
A meadow with my favorite flowers 
Trees everywhere, different colors;
Some orange, others purple or pink 
There are no seasons in Wintersweet 
Its a mixture of autumn and spring 
Its sunny and rainy sometimes 
But neither hot nor humid, just nice
There's a sea green pond where ducks and geese swim around 
Animals roaming round and round 
Filling the air with different sounds 
A golden swing set with benches here and there
And also a never ending brick road in mid-air
I choose who comes and goes 
For it is my world 
I go there when there isn't anywhere else to go 
All of my worries and pains vanish 
When I visit my dear Wintersweet Valley

LOVER

What we had was something I thought to be unbelievable
Though it wasn't enough
Looking at me with those light brown eyes,
I wondered if he looked at her the same way,
making her feel butterflies in her stomach like i always did
Did she caress the freckles on his face like i used to?
'till this day I ask myself why she never figured it out?
You don't feel what you don't see
And the best lies are told with fingers tied
Whenever I catch him looking at me
I hope he could see through the windows of my soul
and realize how he has destroyed my brittle heart
Now I have to live without a little piece of my heart
that he took unknowingly
The sound of his voice makes my heart beat like thunder
And the scent of his skin unlocks forbidden memories.

WAitiNG fOR YOU...

Where are you?
Are you right under my nose or a couple of years away?
I'm tired of waiting 
I need to feel your arms wrap around me 
I need to taste your soft kisses 
tangle our fingers with one anothers 
Be able to stay up talking about anything 
I want to caress your sweet face 
I want to feel safe and cared for 
Do crazy things together
Do simple things 
Make eachother laugh 
Be there for eachother through thick and thin 
I want you 
I need you 
So where are you? 

JEREMiAH iSAiAH

You were born October 3rd, 2003
7 years ago 
You were my first nephew 
I learned a lot of things when you came to this world.
I learned how to change your diapers,
I learned how to make your bottle,
I learned that you liked it when I would sing you to sleep and played with your ear,
You taught me many things without even realizing it.
It broke my heart having to move far away and not be able to take you to the park anymore 
I wasn't there when you went to kindergarten,
I'm still not there while you're in 1st grade. 
I just want you to know that even though I'm miles away I always have you close to my heart
Every time I visit you, you always ask me when will I be coming back 
When I go, you want to spend every possible second with me 
You run up to me in the most unexpected times and hug me for no reason 
You tell me you love me every chance you get 
If i didn't have I don't know what i would do 
I would give my life for you 
I love you with all of my heart
Soon I'll be there to take you to school, to the park, to play video games, to play basketball, to do whatever and everything you want


No matter how old you get you'll ALWAYS be my little munchkin 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMIAH!